Values define what we feel, hold dear and think is important in our life and work. They guide our actions and behaviors and inspire us on an individual level. They shape us: how we choose to live, what we prioritize, and to what or who we devote our energy to. They influence who we spend time with and are a source of more meaningful relationships. They impact our daily habits, needs, and communication.

Values can change over time, depending on the life conditions we face. They are an intricate part of us, and they can help us reflect on ourselves and become more self-aware. They are our internal compass, leading the way.

i.e. to serve our mission through everything we are and do.

Living according to our values helps us zero in on our mastery, where we are motivated to get better at things that we value and that bring value to us. Defined values show us the areas where we can make a difference for ourselves and others, and where we can serve in meaningful ways. If we embody our values in our everyday lives, we can become their champions through behaviors, activities, and communication with others. In this way, we also become “lighthouses:” good examples and role models, inspiring others to embody their values, as well. With defined values, we become creators of our paths, finding and connecting with opportunities and missions that are right for us.

When we know what we stand for, and what we value and believe in, it’s easier to connect with like-minded individuals and create coherence.

When we have similar or aligned values with others, less time is spent on explaining and more on actually doing. We can connect with others through things that fuel us and give meaning to our relationships and personal lives. When approaching new opportunities and environments with similar values, it’s like meeting old friends.

Your way of doing things and your way of placing importance on specific topics will be met with approaches similar or different to yours, but they will still lead to the expression of the same set of aligned values. Mutual understanding brings speed to business decisions, a sense of belonging, and a sense of fulfillment. It’s like having finally found your tribe.

If we don’t take the time to define and recognize our personal values, we have higher chances of living our lives based on external motivations (outside rewards) or making things happen only to avoid inconveniences, problems, and challenges (taking the easy way out). We react to what life throws at us, instead of a precisely designed path that is aligned with our internal (intrinsic) values.

If we don’t know what we value, we won’t put any importance on things that matter to us when it comes to making life and business decisions. For example, choosing a partner, building friendships, picking  hobbies, or switching companies, positions, or careers.

We will have trouble advocating for ourselves and standing up for things that count in our view, or admitting when we were wrong. Some of the decisions we need to make in our lives are groundbreaking and life-changing, like moving countries for a work opportunity, laying off individuals from our teams, letting go of long-term relationships and partnerships, setting up or pulling down boundaries with individuals closest to us, and so on. Most of those decisions are connected to our value systems, although we might not even be fully aware of it.

If we don’t take the time to discover, choose, and nourish our values, it will be harder to set personal boundaries on things we wish to have in our environment, both in our personal as well as professional lives.

We can influence what happens and what doesn't by conducting conversations, showing our values in practice (by being a role model), and bringing our teams on board with our own and the company's minimum acceptable behavior standards.

The quality and depth of our relationships with others depend on how well we know ourselves. Building relationships with individuals who value completely different things can become a source of stress and conflict. This can make us feel like we are on a boat without an anchor to ground us and can cause us to have less energy to work on what matters.

Since the dawn of humanity, our environments shaped people to think and behave in ways most beneficial to survival and success. The same happens on an individual level in one’s lifetime. A person’s upbringing, experiences, education, important parental figures, and involvement in different communities all play important roles in defining our ideas about what success or failure means, who or what matters to us, and how we should behave to reach or maintain the lifestyle we desire.

Most values, whether consciously or unconsciously, stem from our immediate environments and families, which we then further develop through our experiences. Throughout life, we start picking up parts from other people, significant others, even fictional characters from movies or books, friends, leaders, and co-workers. We gather the characteristics we like and discard those we don’t. In this way, we develop our sense of morality, beliefs, and values.

Up to the point to which we finally consciously identify and choose our values, we live inside a value paradigm determined by our needs within our environment. In turn, these values determine our emotions, feelings, and thoughts which drive our behavior and actions. This puts us in reaction mode, dealing with whatever the environment happens to bring us, and doing so in predictable, entrenched patterns. The goal of setting our personal values is to come to a state of action, where we can scrutinize what’s truly important and choose our behavior and actions from a larger pool of options. 

To set up your personal values you can use Reemina’s Garden of Values card deck.